Swim Meet 2013

Cate had her fall swim meet last month and again it was awesome!  You'd think we'd get bored of this or at least lukewarm but it is so much fun to watch these kids swim.  They all have worked so hard to get here regardless of their challages - on this team they are all equals and that is a great thing.  Cate swam in 4 races - 50 yard freestyle (new for her), 25 yard freestyle, 25 yard backstroke, and 25 yard breaststroke (new for her).


I did get a cute pose before the first race!

She started with the new 50 yard freestyle race and got 3rd place because she wasn't really sure she wanted to swim after the shock of cool water.  She wasn't the only new one to the race so finishing it without stopping got her 3rd place even though she spent way more time doggy paddling and looking around than being the competitive swimmer.  Cate has to be invested in something to do well and after that first race I was worried she was more interested in the birthday party for afterwards than the races at hand.    I don't know if she used that first race as a warm-up, was inspired by the ribbon she got, or just clicked into gear but the 25 free race was a totally different story.

game face on - ready to go!

#1!!!

Not only did she finish first, she did it in 48 seconds which is almost 10 seconds faster than her time in the spring.  Cate's stroke looked good and she was moving fast!!  She rushed over to show off her to cheering section which included my parents, my aunt and my cousin the blue ribbon!

 

first stop was to show her proud daddy!

and then "surprise" grandma and Kim

 

Of course because she won that one she was ready for the backstroke which she placed 4th in last season.    

ready for backstroke

off she goes

First Place for Backstroke!!!

a hug for sister!

 Not only did she get first place she got her time under a minute! 

One of Cate's friends was doing her first backstroke race and so Cate decided to give her some encouragement just like we gave her the first time she when she took 4 minutes to finish!

After this we set up for breaststroke which is the new stroke she just started this season.  She had a little problem getting started since she wanted to do free but there were a couple new to this race so she wasn't the only one.  But she got into it after a little while and did a great job.

Cate is the middle lane slightly ahead of the girl next to her at this point.

 

a little "I did it wave to the crowd"

Even though it is awesome that Cate did so well and made us so proud with her competitive spirit and hard work the best thing about this meet was that she sought out her friends.  They aren't really new friends but somehow this day it seemed that the relationships had matured which is awesome because they are great girls!

swimmer girls (A&L) and their sisters

 

A & Cate are proud of their backstroke ribbons

 

Our awesome swimmers!

It was a successful afternoon all around!

"enough pictures mom - ugh"

 



3 for 21 Blog Hop - November

Jumping in for a quick blog hop entry since I've missed a few! 3 for 21 is a Down Syndrome blog hop in which the participants do a post with one truth, one tip, and one picture.

One Truth: Cate is a great swimmer!  I have a long overdue post about her recent swim meet with some pictures about half ready to expand that.  Cate being a great swimmer is in and of itself a truth but behind that lies a every bigger truth.  If you are/were like me when you find out your  baby has Down syndrome you go through a time of sadness that comes out in thoughts like "she'll never do <something> like I did".  And really I still do it sometimes even with experience of being wrong in the past.  Some of those things you thought that about will be silly or turn out to be irrelevant, some with haunt you, but a lot of them will just turn out to not be true.  I worried when Cate was little she wouldn't be able or love to swim like me.  The truth she loves it and is great at it.  So the moral of my truth - that every time you think "she won't" remind yourself "she will if she wants to" if you just give her the tools.

One Tip:  Trust your instincts.  When Cate was a baby I was still in that "doctor/teacher/therapist knows best" frame of mind.  These days I'm more likely to take all professional opinions in mind and add them to own ideas before I make a decision.  No professional who sees Cate once a year, a month can know how she'll react to something.  For example when Cate get sick, a lot of the time she'll push herself harder and become more stubborn instead of seeming tired or telling you something hurts.  Actually if she says her tummy hurts or she feels sick it is very likely a reaction to a task that is hard for her (even when you don't see it that way), it is rarely actually a virus or bug.  Many times when she was a baby she didn't get treatment for a bug until she was running a high fever or developing pneumonia.  Now I try to trust my instincts that something is wrong when she starts getting whiny for no reason or seems to be pushing away from activities she normally likes.   You always know your child best.


One Picture:

as proud of herself as we are of her!

Halloween Pictures - just for Aunt Brandie

Didn't think I could be more of a blog slacker did you?  Life is rolling along these days and not leaving much time for anything.  Everyone has been healthy and is very involved in their activities which makes for a busy mommy with very little down time.  Pretty awesome huh?  Much better than the alternative of having sick kids, bored kids or no job.

Last week the girls' Aunt Brandie asked me for Halloween pictures - which I never even thought about sending until today.  So here is an overdue post for Halloween!  Lucy was a kitty cat.  She had a few choices including a cowgirl, princess, panda or the cat.  Smart girl choose the cat because it was slightly chilly and "it is like wearing a blanket so I don't have to wear a jacket".  Cate wanted to be princess Sophia from the Disney show Sophia the first.   The girls' Nana sent a huge box of old dance costumes that she got at a garage sale a few month ago (best care package ever!) and there was a perfect purple dress for a princess.  We added a purple amulet (Sophia's prize possession) and a crown, added a little curling iron action and TA DA - Cate was Sophia!  They had a fun at our neighborhood party complete with hayride (first time for Lucy!) and then a great time trick or treating home.


Princess Sophia and the white kitty cat!

The pumpkins are Wilbur and Charlotte - Cate's class made them and I won them at the fall festival auction.  Cate begged for them it is her FAVORITE book.

Cate spent a lot of the night showing us her curtsy - and you can just see the pink cowboy boots underneath!

hay ride - they went by themselves :-)

they are both still asking how long until Halloween again as they see the candy dwindle down!

Buddy Walk 2013

It is our 7th year doing the Buddy Walk - it is unbelievable to say that but it is true and we have the t-shirts to prove it!   This year was a little different that previous years, it didn't have the hype we've added in previous years.  A lot of that is due to me - I just let it sneak up on me.  The result was a very little team and not much money raised (under $500 :-().  I'm disappointed in myself but I guess it is to be expected that some years you just can't commit as much as others because life just gets in the way.  The girls also had a different take on it this year - we went from both of them asking "when is the buddy walk" to saying "I don't want to go".  Cate had to miss a girl scout outing and Lucy her school's fall festival - neither one was happy about it right up until the day of, when they started to accept I wasn't giving them a choice.  As usual once we arrived they changed attitudes and got into the spirit of the event.  There is just a huge feeling a joy at this event every year - you can't help but smile.  The weather was absolutely perfect, we ate the great food, the girls danced to the music and played on the bouncy houses.  I forgot to take my camera even though my best shots of Cate (including the blog header) have been from past walks.  But at least I have cell phone shots to show just how much we enjoyed this years buddy walk - and next year I'm going to be way more on the ball!

Had to hit the playground first of course - isn't this the coolest slide!

Important info over on "the Bates Motel" for parents of children with disabilities

Rebecca over at The Bates Motel blog today address an uncomfortable, scary but so important topic - "Disability and Abuse - the Latest Findings, and How You Can Protect Your Loved Ones".  All parents of children with disabilities please head over to her blog to check out what she has found and the links to important information.
http://thebatesmotel3.blogspot.com/2013/10/disability-and-abuse-latest-findings.html

The statistics on different types of abuses against people with disabilities are varied but always terrifying.  The report that Becca references from 2013 found 70% of the 7000+ respondents reported being victims of some time of abuse including bullying.  Her view is a good one in my opinion - these studies are scary but empowering because this abuse is in the past and we can use the information to try to prevent it in the future.  A post she did in early October about the same subject actually made me start acting now with hopes of prevention for Cate.  Even though Cate is only seven, we have gently started the dialog with her and Lucy.  In the last couple weeks, we have have two dinner time conversations along with reminders as we arrive at non-family events, like the buddy walk.  We talked about different kinds of touching that are relevant to their ages - kisses, hugs, tickling, high-fives.   Cate is very affectionate and although I have never noticed a real problem in her showing affection, she will sometimes hug people who she doesn't really know only recognizes.  So now we have rules to help her manage the behaviors - kisses are only for family, hugs are only for friends - which are people who you know their names, everyone else or if you aren't sure gets high fives.  I have also asked her to tell me if anyone asks her to hug or kiss another person or if a non-family person tickles her no matter who it is or why. I try to make sure she knows she won't be in trouble but that mommy just wants to know.   I have actually brought up the "don't do what others tell you too" conversation before as it relates to other kids because a common form of bullying for second grade girls seems to be getting a weaker girl to get in trouble for kissing a boy.  Most of these situations are pretty harmless in general but it is a good place to start in making sure Cate knows what to do in this type of situation. The adult part of that is harder right now given her habit of testing every teacher and helper at school to see how much of what they say she actually has to do.  We'll have to tackle when to not listen to an adult later on. 

The last part of our conversation has dealt with not everyone wanting a hug.  Of course this concept is completely foreign to Cate but it came up at a recent school event when Cate tried to hug one of the boys in her class and he ran away.  I told her about boys not liking hugs as much as in 2nd grade and she seemed to accept that pretty well.  So now we have added a reminded to not hug people that don't look like they want one because that is OK - which I hope will translate later into her knowing that she has the right to not let someone hug or touch her.

This is our plan for now - start talking about the easy stuff and as both girls get older transition in to the hard stuff.  It may not seem like much but it feels like the right way to start with prevention.  It does seem to be sinking in so I feel hopeful we are starting off on the right foot.  When we arrived at the Buddy Walk  (promise pics this week after this heavy subject!) this weekend I did something I aways do at events and asked "what are the big rules for a crowded place".  This time I got a new answers "stay by mommy or daddy", "don't run off" and "only kiss family and hug friends".  We'll keep at it so some day it is stuck in their heads! 

And if you are a teacher, therapist or caregiver for Cate and you are reading this - we will probably not talk about it in person but I would be happy if you would back me up on this with a gentle reminder if you see Cate hugging someone she probably should give a high five too or someone who doesn't really seem to want a hug.  Just a simple "you don't know his name so next time lets give him a high five instead of a hug" or "did you see his frown, I don't think he wanted a hug do you?  maybe try a high five next time".  As always feel free to tell me about any concerns in this are as well - I don't need an official case of bullying or even need to know the exact circumstances to be able to help Cate with an example of something she should avoid or tell the teacher about next time.  With Cate is all about experience and specifics.

Let me know if you have any other great ideas for talking about this subject with little girls!  And parents of kids with disabilities - don't wait do the research, get on it and start thinking about the best way to approach prevention with your child.  Ignoring it won't make it go away, and awareness might be our biggest advantage against the cruel people in this world.

What happened to 31 for 21 on A Brighter Sunshine?

Apologies again - feel like I'm doing that a lot lately even though I said I'd never make excuses for not blogging since I'm not the type to write when I have nothing to say.  Last year I loved the challenge of 31 for 21 and successfully blogged every day in October to raise awareness for Down syndrome.  It was fun to stretch my mind for new topics and to work towards a blogging goal.  Everyday I not only wrote, but I also read so many great new blogs.  This year I'm barely keeping up with my two favorite blogs and then only because we are facebook friends and they post their links there so I see them in my 5 minutes of facebook time each day.   I am just swamped - no other way to put it.  I ended September working to get Cate back on track at school and adding her new horse lessons into our packed schedule then I started October by leaving town for two days for a funeral.  No time to think about writing, although I took a picture or two with intent - like this one of what I packed first for my trip to Iowa -



day one - veggie pasta, strawberries, olives, Annie's bunny cookies and Capri sun
day two - ham sandwich cut elephant shaped, cheese (soy for Lucy), strawberries, carrots, veggie sticks, water
day three - turkey & cheese rolls, applesauce squeezer, bell peppers, pretzels, super V juice

I know most people pack clothes or toiletries first, I pack lunches for other people.  Not because my hubby couldn't handle the job but because I think its is fun!  I love figuring out lunch ideas and putting them together - although I hate the clean up.  I made each of the girls three days worth of lunches ready, along with labeled bags of non-fridge items to make it one easy chore for Ric.  I knew he had a challenge dealing with both girls and their crazy schedules by himself for 2 plus days.  Our kids require a two person team to get it all done for sure, sometimes three or four.    Of course I did get packed eventually with all the clothes I need and the trip went smoothly even flying standby.
Once I got back from Iowa everything was in full swing and I just never caught up at work or home.  Today I can see the light at the end of the tunnel but I'm realistic to know I can't jump into posting everyday.  I'm promising myself I'll try again next year and do better about getting on the blog hops so I can keep my writing going and not let reading blogs get away from me.  Writing for me is very therapeutic and I do enjoy it so I don't want to stop.  Sometimes it just has to be put on the back burner when things are moving along very swiftly but smoothly enough I don't need therapy.  This seems to be one of those times, we'll see.
In the mean time here are some pictures from Cate's make up horse lesson yesterday!

 

Lucy waiting at the fence in her new pink boots

Cate talking to Hershey

headed to grooming stall

this is big for Lucy, she actually pet Hershey while Cate was grooming

Cate spent all lesson fighting her helmet so now she has one of her very own that we can adjust.

thankful

Today I'm so very thankful that I made a decision a couple weeks ago to say "no" to the busy work of being mom to Cate & Lucy.  At the very last minute two weekends ago I decided to accompany my dad to Arizona to see my grandfather for his 98th birthday.  Once the idea hit me that I should go and I had Ric see if I could get a flight, I debated the issue in my head for hours.  Ric had plans to go to an away football game, there was laundry to do, Cate had her first cheer practice, I needed to clean up the areas of my house that are starting to look like a hoarder lives with me - lots of reasons not to go.  But there was one big reason pulling me to go - a man who loved me and I hadn't seen in a year.  I'm lucky enough to have a husband who said go and a mother who said she'd take the kids on Saturday - so I went.  It was a quick trip barely over 24 hours for me but so worth it.  My grandfather had conquered not just time but illness.  At 92 he was diagnosed with Lymphoma and went through a full course of chemo and came out of it still kicking.  With his amazingly sharp mind, he was not only able to tell me about traveling in a covered wagon and a sibling being born in a school house along the road, but also able to remember that Cate loves to swim and that I was renovating my house.  We talked about some of his memories - especially meaningful to me was his recalling a fishing trip my dad and Lane took him on in Minnesota that Ric joined them on.  I was so happy to realize that even though they only met a couple times, he remembered and liked my husband.  But even more amazing to me was listening to him talk about Cate.  He asked about Lucy and commented on her adorable attitude in one of the pictures I brought but it was obvious that he thought Cate hung the moon.

When I think about the changes in perceptions about children with special needs in his lifetime it is amazing.  When he was young there was no option for kids like Cate except institutions and no early intervention or therapy to help them be productive members of society.  He might have never known anyone with Down syndrome because of the likelihood of institutionalization in the bulk of his lifetime, I never even thought to ask him.  His views on Down syndrome should be skeptical, wary, even negative based on the times in which he grow up.  But you know his favorite thing to say about Cate - "Nothing is going to stop that girl" - and when he said it you felt his pride and love for her.  He loved her even though he only met her one time when she was still a toddler.  His love came from her being part of him, from his closely listening to my dad tell stories, and looking at the pictures or videos I'd send him.  He was proud of her accomplishments because he could feel the pride in my dad voice as he talked about her and accepted it without question.  Can you imagine how amazing that is for me to know?  My family loves Cate because of who she is - the diagnosis is irrelevant even to the ones among us that have good reason to be unsure.

My grandfather passed away Monday night and even though I'm selfishly sad because I know he was ready, mostly I am grateful.  Grateful he was able to live 98 years with a sharp mind, grateful he left on his terms - at home with family taking care of him, and grateful I got to say goodbye.

Rest in peace Grandpa secure in the knowledge your family loved you so very much.

Therapeutic Riding Lesson #1

Sorry it took me all week to give you an update but Cate LOVED  her therapeutic horse lesson as expected.  We had a little glitch in the "earning" rewards process because there wasn't a swim practice Friday for her to be good at and she got a yellow at school so we were two short as of the end of the school day.  I gave her some opportunities to earn "horses" by being good at while I was at the chiropractor and then helping me with sorting laundry so she got there - phew.  The barn isn't as far away as I had expected which makes is possible for the future and Cate was really good for almost the whole lesson.

meeting a horse when we first arrived

 Cate was so ready for this that she wouldn't even wait in the cute gazebo with nice soft chairs - she waited right on the concert outside the area of the barn she saw the horses coming from!

She immediately took to her instructor, Miss S.  They spent more than half of the lesson learning the process of getting the horse ready.  Cate's horse was named "Hersey" and was a palomino.  She was very excited to meet him.

Next they walked him over to the grooming area (sorry I don't know the real terminology yet) to begin to learn all the steps and safety processes.

Cate was really engaged in learning the steps in getting the horse ready.    She readily repeated unfamiliar words like "bridle" and didn't push back at all when Miss. S gave her instructions.  They brushed the horse with the different types of brushes and even cleaned his shoes with some sort of pick.  The whole time Cate was listening intently and focusing on the tasks - I didn't hear much out of her except her little instructions like "Hershey be still" and "Hershey stop moving your legs"!

After doing the grooming process then talking about the equipment they got him saddled up and Cate put on a helmet with no fuss at all.  They took the horse down to the ring and started working on voice commands.  Cate firmly told me to wait in the barn so I missed the first part until I couldn't stand it anymore and headed down to watch.  They led the horse around for quite a while.

 

When it was finally time for her to ride, Cate actually got a little nervous and wanted Miss S to go first.  They ended up watching another lesson for about one minute before Cate said she was ready to go.  I think the problem in the mounting for her.  They put up a step but of course the horse won't stay still since it takes her forever.  We ended up having me hold the horse and Miss S give her a fast leg up.  Once she was up there she was ready to go.  After a little while of listening pretty well even on the horse she started to get her imagination going and ask to run or started telling a story.  Miss S dealt with it really well and they kept on practicing "whoa" and "walk on".

I would consider the whole lesson a success.  I think there is value in it outside the core muscle strengthening to following instruction and self confidence.  Especially after this part Cate is already asking when her next lesson is:

I know the video is hard to see since it was with my phone but Cate is learning to say "trot"!!  She loved that little bit of speed.  I think I have created a horse riding monster!!

a Horse Lover

I've mentioned before how much Cate adore animals.  She has said every time anyone has asked for the last 3 years or so that she wants to be a zookeeper when she grows up - and anyone who has seen her around or even just heard her talk about animals can believe it might just happen.  She has always liked horses but since the introduction the Disney movie Brave her goal has been to ride a horse and shoot a bow and arrow - at the same time.  Now that part isn't likely but her love of horse has definitely grown.  She not only wants to ride a horse, she wants to take care of it - lead it, brush it, wash it, feed it.  She has been on pony rides a couple times but this summer she got to be a guest at one of Lucy's friend's pony birthday party.  The handlers at the party all told me we needed to get Cate on a horse for real.  There is a branch of physical therapy called hippotherapy that utilizes horses in the process of reaching therapy goals.  It has great success in increasing core body strength, coordination and speech as well.  Cate doesn't really need any PT right now given her swimming plus the goal of hippotherapy is to use a horse to pursue other goals not to teach the child to ride a horse, but she isn't ready for a group horse lesson either. 

I was lucky to find a great farm not too far away that offers "therapeutic riding" lessons.  The goal of these sessions is to teach the child to ride a horse but are taught a therapist who will also work on goals of increasing coordination, core strength, and confidence.  So tomorrow is our first session and Cate is over the moon excited.  I have made her earn 10 "horses" on a reward chart by getting green behavior ratings at school and cooperating on her homework.  As of last night she had 8 - so assuming she gets a green today and cooperates fully at swimming tonight we'll be go to go - otherwise I'll have to make up another way for her to earn one! 
As I understand it tomorrow's session would not normally include much riding but since we are kind of testing the program out (it isn't covered by insurance) to see if it is valuable enough for the time commitment and how often we want to do it, the instructor was planning to get Cate on the horse for a little while.  Keep your fingers crossed for us that it goes well!
Here are the pics of her at the party last month:

from the minute we got there we couldn't get Cate out of the barn

so happy

see that face when the helper tried to get her off??

Lucy didn't want anything to do with horses but loved the fashion.

she convinced the helper to take her "barrelling" around the hay bails!

its horse love for sure!